Rough Day

Today was quite honestly a very rough day. All I want to do right now is whine and complain and blame everyone around me, but maybe if I type out mature thoughts then I'll change my mind. First off, communication is VERY important. Our team struggled today because of something that was either said or heard incorrectly a few weeks ago, and we are just now learning about it and very frustrated. No one is actually at fault in this, but it has set us back quite a bit. Also, different personality types need to be recognized and respected. I, personally, do not enjoy talking out ideas with people, I would rather write them down and work it out in my head before I share it, other people don't. I'm slowly accepting this and listening to people ramble on until they decide what to do, but sometimes I want to tell them to stop because I always assume that if you tell me something then it's ready to go, and it's not. Anyway, long day, but I am trying to learn to appreciate and respect my team as well as I can. I really do like all of them, I'm just learning how to work together in the best way possible.

Poverty

So it took me a summer and a half, but I'm finally beginning to understand poverty. Yay! Only, not. See, there isn't much in Lakeview, no grocery store, no school, nothing for the kids or adults to do except fish in the nearby lake. Anyway, I was really excited last year when they started a feeding program at the local abandoned elementary and I figured those kids would be ok and were really getting the nutrition they needed and I didn't have to worry about them. Well, last week we decided to go with the kids to the lunch to hang out with them some more. The entire meal consisted of a scoop of tuna salad, a slice of bread, a half-pint of milk, chips, and cookies. No fruit, no vegetables, not even a full size sandwich. The people in this program are doing what they to keep the kids fed and healthy, but when the poor give to the poor, only so much can be done. I was really discouraged when I realized how little these kids receive daily, especially since that will be the only meal some of those kids will get that day.

My epiphany was still developing until I stepped into the community center in Elaine. This building has been an on-going project by a local pastor that asked for our help in assisting the kids in his area and wants to run a community center out there. We've done everything we can to help while still allowing him to be in charge, but yet again, this man is just as poor as everyone else around. Plumbing was just completed in this building, and as soon as I stepped into the bathrooms I balked because they looked worse than most gas station bathrooms, but he was just so proud of them. To the pastor, this was a huge accomplishment of him giving to his community, but I've been so spoiled that my first thought was to turn my nose up at it. Most, if not all, of these children will never know the lifestyle I've lived, the choice the say no to food I don't like or even the ability to find a better bathroom. These people take what they have, and they're proud of it. I can't help but think of the woman who gave so little to the offering, but it was everything she had a was praised for it.

You know, that all sounds so nice, but there's a nasty side too. Because impoverished people often have no "things" to own, they instead own people. After the picnic last friday we hung out with one of the mothers that had come and her 5 year old son. We played with the little boy mostly and just acted silly with him. Kids camp starts at 6, so we asked how old he would be next year and he wasn't really sure so we tried counting with him and I'm not sure if he was just playing around or not, but he couldn't figure out what came after 5. At that point his mother started yelling at him, like seriously angry. I was shocked at her outburst and didn't know how to respond but the boy finally told us he would be 6 after a minute. What really got me though happened the next week. One of the people in Lakeview told me when you fight with one of his brothers, you fight with the whole family, which didn't mean much to me until he messaged me and told me he was fighting with one of the other kids there. When we went to Lakeview yesterday I was a little wary of what we would find, but everything seemed normal. That is, until, the 6 year old brother of the guy who told me about the fighting refused to go find the kid that his brother had been fighting with and invite him to play with us because he was mad at him. This boy was six, he had no reason to be mad at this other boy, it was simply because his brother told him that's the way it was. It's so frustrating that all these rules start at such a young age, and who knows whether this will all blow over, or if it could develop into a real feud that could prevent us from reaching all of these children. I still don't know where I stand with any of this, or what I'm learning, but I'm beginning to see things that I never noticed before.

Ok, so it's been awhile since I posted but I rarely have internet access when I'm not working, and I'm super busy. Not that I'm complaining, you all know how much I love being on the move. Anyway, this past week we did a lot more prep for the ACC, including the dreaded spreadsheets. Office work is usually fun for me, but so much editing has to be done and redone on those spreadsheets that after awhile I ready to delete them all and run. Oh well, week one chart is mostly done, just have to focus on week two.

Stories on Wheels started up again this past week and some of my favorite kids are still there, I'm so happy! A few have moved, but it happens. Anyway, we started in Lakeview, but didn't get to do much. We can't go there till mid-morning or none of the kids will be awake, and there is a free lunch program near-by at 11:00 so we only play for a little over an hour then hung out while they ate. After that we headed to Elaine for a meeting about getting the community center running there. We made plans to paint it, and did on Thursday, but the day before that was too crazy to start.

See, on Wednesday we had a volunteer youth group come in. 64 people, in tiny little Helena.

Thats all of them in the tiny little Eden Market. Oh my. Anyway, half the group stayed and picked weeds in the garden, and the other half came with me and one of the other interns to the community center in Helena to organize the Imagination Station, which hasn't been able to be used in over a year because of how messed up it was. We worked for about an hour then had to go to lunch, then sent the volunteers to the Boys and Girls club to play with the kids while we went back to the community center to keep working. Yeah, it took another day but we got it done. Beast. I wish I had a picture of how bad it looked when we got there, but think of a large pile of STUFF and not being able to touch the other wall suddenly becoming a neatly organized room with everything sorted in boxes on shelves. Ugh, I dont even know how much we threw away, but its beautiful now.

Friday was another fun day as we attended the Helena Public housing picnic. I stayed at the registration table being mobbed by small children while the other interns set up games while also being mobbed by small children. But, it was really fun in the end, and we got a lot of people to sign up for the swim lessons we'll be doing this summer.

Saturday was quite productive, too. The Helena Farmers Market is every Saturday during the summer, and this week the Delta Jewels were selling there and I helped supervise. We didn't get a lot of sales, but I got to hang out with the girls and try a sweet potato brownie! Yum! After that we had the regular Delta Jewels class. We continued sales that night at the new Second Saturday Art Walk in Helena, which was really awesome and our sales went a lot better. Anyway, I need some rest now, so have a good week all, sorry this post is so random.

Nearly three full days in Helena and I’m already exhausted, but thrilled I came back. The people of this county are something else, and I’m happy to be surrounded my so much history. As expected, nothing was as I expected, if you get what I mean. Helena is moving all around me and I never know where I’ll end up. I share a pretty decent apartment with two of the other interns and we’ve spent a lot of time getting that set up, and also prepping for the big ACC at the end of the summer. We had our fist community meeting yesterday and it didn’t get started right away, but we got a lot done and I’m excited to see how things will change this year around. Anyway, I don’t have internet at my apartment and I’m doing this at my supervisors house so it’s back to work!